First sentence: “The Jeff Goldblum that lathes and sands down a pine table, brushing the grain with the heel of his hand, bends down and takes a spirit level to it, saying gently to the wood, well done, you.”
Jeff Goldblum—beloved actor, meme star, cultural icon—who in the world doesn’t like him?
However you feel about him, we can all agree he’s super beloved. So many people love his movies (Independence Day, Jurassic Park), the way he speaks and the sensuous nature of it, the look of his face in those thick black rimmed glasses, and just—I can go on and on. That’s what The Goldblum Variations plays on—our fascination with Jeff Goldbum.
In this bizarrely surreal yet soothing book, you meet Jeff Goldblums in all forms of life—what he would be doing in his everyday life like fold origami or being unable to find his glasses; the various job he may have in alternate universes like an artist in an underground bunker; cooking in a Twilight-esque zone; experience his many moods; the outfits he would wear; or “Choose Your Own Jeff Goldblum Jeffventure.” These snapshots—in the forms of poems, bingo cards, drabbles—are very weird, but it’s certainly not outside the realm of possibility.
This book may be thin, but it packs quite an imaginative punch to all things Jeff Goldblum related. It’s outlandish, but these are musings that every fan of him would wonder about him because they are trying to figure out who he is, and how he has managed to seduce people. It’s not hard to believe that he would be doing or saying things that are in this book.
Jeff Goldblum is a gem—this guy who has managed to mesmerize his audience and the people he’s worked with. The Goldblum Variations is a celebration about the wonders of Jeff Goldblum, and it’s brimming with so much love and wonder that you can feel emanating from the pages. It’s truly a delightful read, especially for all the Jeff Goldblum lovers.
I dare you to read this, and I bet you can 100% hear Jeff Goldblum’s voice and movement in these different universes.
Should you read The Goldblum Variations? It’s Jeff Goldblum, so yes.