Dear The Here and Now,
I’m not joking when I say, “You give me a massive headache.” Every time I try to read you, my brain just flips a switch where everything slooooooooooowwwwwsss dooooowwwwnnnnn even though I want to breeze through you. I’ve forced myself, determined to trudge through the thick mud, but I just sunk in, flailing my arms around for help.
I will forever be stuck on the prologue because I am in disbelief. The book starts with a lackluster, “His dad had to work, so Ethan had gone fishing alone.” It didn’t elicit any excitement from me, but I continued to read. I could’ve forgiven the first sentence if the first chapter became more exciting, but unfortunately, it didn’t.
The descriptions are cringe-worthy, guys.
A storm happens all of a sudden and conjures up a girl, and Ethan describes her as:
[quote]Not quite made of regular-girl substance.[/quote]
Let’s pause here, so I can shout, “WHAT???” What does that even mean? “Regular-girl substance”? Is this kid on drugs? Did he smoke a little too much weed because he’s not making a lot of sense? What does this girl look like she’s made of? Raindrops and glitter? What is a regular girl supposed to be made of?
[quote]She was supernaturally beautiful, like a mermaid of an elvish princess.[/quote]
So cringe-worthy. Again, what does that even mean? Supernaturally beautiful? Give me a break. It’s like this kid never saw a girl before.
And you know the thing that makes me angry? The girl is actually totally naked. Yup. She’s not said to be until after the boy decides that maybe it wasn’t okay for him to be staring at a confused, naked teenage girl. I was (and still am) extremely bothered by this. I don’t understand why the female main character is naked in the first scene she’s introduced. Is it necessary? Not at all. Is there a point? Besides showing how ridiculous the boy sees the girl? No. No there isn’t.
This basically set the tone for the chapters I ended up reading (which wasn’t a lot).
I think I only got to chapter three before I finally put you down because it was sooo boring. Nothing happened. And if something did, well, it wasn’t memorable or exciting. To be honest, I wasn’t all that interested in reading you. I was just so mesmerized by your book cover because of the gorgeous colors and prisms. You can say I was seduced. I was fooled by a pretty cover.
You are really not good for my health, so I am announcing, publicly, that I am casting you to the DNF list, which is an extremely big deal.