August 30, 2014 • Cee • Letters

Dear The Here and Now,

I’m not joking when I say, “You give me a massive headache.” Every time I try to read you, my brain just flips a switch where everything slooooooooooowwwwwsss dooooowwwwnnnnn even though I want to breeze through you. I’ve forced myself, determined to trudge through the thick mud, but I just sunk in, flailing my arms around for help.

I will forever be stuck on the prologue because I am in disbelief. The book starts with a lackluster, “His dad had to work, so Ethan had gone fishing alone.” It didn’t elicit any excitement from me, but I continued to read. I could’ve forgiven the first sentence if the first chapter became more exciting, but unfortunately, it didn’t.

The descriptions are cringe-worthy, guys.

A storm happens all of a sudden and conjures up a girl, and Ethan describes her as:

Not quite made of regular-girl substance.

Let’s pause here, so I can shout, “WHAT???” What does that even mean? “Regular-girl substance”? Is this kid on drugs? Did he smoke a little too much weed because he’s not making a lot of sense? What does this girl look like she’s made of? Raindrops and glitter? What is a regular girl supposed to be made of?

Totally baffled.

She was supernaturally beautiful, like a mermaid of an elvish princess.

So cringe-worthy. Again, what does that even mean? Supernaturally beautiful? Give me a break. It’s like this kid never saw a girl before.

And you know the thing that makes me angry? The girl is actually totally naked. Yup. She’s not said to be until after the boy decides that maybe it wasn’t okay for him to be staring at a confused, naked teenage girl. I was (and still am) extremely bothered by this. I don’t understand why the female main character is naked in the first scene she’s introduced. Is it necessary? Not at all. Is there a point? Besides showing how ridiculous the boy sees the girl? No. No there isn’t.

This basically set the tone for the chapters I ended up reading (which wasn’t a lot).

I think I only got to chapter three before I finally put you down because it was sooo boring. Nothing happened. And if something did, well, it wasn’t memorable or exciting. To be honest, I wasn’t all that interested in reading you. I was just so mesmerized by your book cover because of the gorgeous colors and prisms. You can say I was seduced. I was fooled by a pretty cover.

You are really not good for my health, so I am announcing, publicly, that I am casting you to the DNF list, which is an extremely big deal.

Sincerely,

cee

 

 

 


 

3 Responses to “SINCERELY, CEE | A letter from yours truly to The Here and Now”

  1. Valerie says:

    Yes, that is a very good decision to make!!! This was a really bad book imo. It was horrible. I can’t believe I did not DNF it. :P

  2. I’m telling you I’m still wondering how he knows what is ‘regular-girl substance’. Can you buy it? Can you eat it? IDEK. It’s like another way of saying ‘You’re not like other girls’ blerghhh.

    The naked aspect seems so objectifying :\ Makes me feel really uncomfortable. I can sort of see why she’s naked because of maybe the time-traveling aspect? But still, not very necessary and engaging for the beginning of a book.

    I’m glad you DNFed because you really saved your sanity, it wouldn’t have been worth it at all to finish the book.

  3. Yup. I was expecting so much because I had a friend in high school who revered The Sisterhood of The Travelling Pants, but this was just so. slow. and. boring. And dull. And full of instalove. Blerghhhh.


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